The circumstances leading up to divorce can turn your life upside down – in a very real way. The trauma can leave you unable to think clearly or feel confident when making decisions. This is bad enough when you’re trying to get out without losing yourself, but the struggle takes on an entirely new dynamic when you’re trying to divorce without losing your kids.
Having a kind and experienced guide through the process can help.
Fupping recently published their list of the best seven books for divorced men, and here is our rundown of them.
Divorced Dads 101 by Nancy J. Wasson and Lee Hefner
Want to stay connected with the kids but aren’t sure where to start? Worried the connection is already lost? Feeling like no matter what you do, you’re going to screw up? Wasson and Hefner offer practical advice for reconnecting and staying involved with kids as you split from your partner. With 101 activity plans to choose from, you’ll be a single parent pro in no time!
They’re Your Kids Too by Anne Mitchell
Written by one of the forefront fathers’ rights lawyers and advocates in the U.S., not to mention the founder of DadsRights.org, They’re Your Kids Too: The Single Father’s Guide to Defending Your Fatherhood in a Broken Family Lawn System offers a wealth of advice on navigating the legal issues involved for divorcing dads.
Some fathers are so afraid of damaging their chances for reconciliation – or worse, creating a hostile co-parenting environment – they make simple but significant mistakes. This guide provides you with a reasonable blueprint for keeping you and your children safe during and after divorce.
Elusive Innocence by Dean Tong
Once your divorce got started, was it hard to recognize your wife? Was she doing or saying things completely out of character? Did it seem like she didn’t care about anyone but herself?
Men and women sometimes act this way during a divorce to protect themselves from guilt. The problem is, this “fog” mentality puts you at considerable risk. In your wife’s mind, if the divorce isn’t her fault, it must be yours. Expect her to exaggerate or manufacture abuse claims to justify leaving, and not only file charges, but tell friends and family – including the kids. Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused, can help you prepare and deal with the fallout.
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How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Peter McWilliams
Recommended by grief counselors across the globe, McWilliam’s guide helps heal the trauma of disconnection. It is especially helpful in cases where the end of a marriage was a surprise or when divorce represents more than just losing a spouse, but also stepchildren or important inlaw connections.
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
Divorce means different things to different men. Years of fighting might make it easier to accept, or it might leave you feeling cheated. You put in so much work and put up with so much crap just to wind up with this? For some men, it isn’t just heartbreaking or frustrating, it is literally mindbending. The Power of Now will help you regain clarity and hope at times when life seems hopeless. It can help you rebuild the foundation of your future so you can build a life you and your children can enjoy together.
Divorce Rules for Men by Martin M Shenkman & Michael J Hamilton
Are you among the men who just want their circus to end? If you’re counting the days until the divorce is done, this practical guide to money management will help you navigate those waters as easily as possible. Who says a divorce has to bust your bank account?
Storms Can’t Hurt The Sky by Gabriel Cohen
With a title that serves as its own lesson, this guide uses modern Buddhist essentials to help clear your head during divorce. It’s no surprise that the situation can leave you reeling. If you’re struggling to keep things in check, know you’re not alone. It’s common. You can have four decades of perfected stoicism under your belt, and BAM. Suddenly you’re crying in the middle of meetings. Or if you’ve always had a calm and quiet personality, you might wake up one day looking for a fight. Cohen’s guide will help you process those emotions and tackle other obstacles so you can get back to being a guy you and your kids will like.
Sometimes, being a responsible parent means acknowledging when you need help. The above divorce books for dads will help you navigate some of the toughest challenges you can face during and after the process. Be sure to check them out, and feel free to leave your own recommendations in the comments.